Friday, December 17, 2010

day 2 - 4

day 2 of jecobie sa mundong ibabaw...

he sleeps most of the day, and pag gising, he feeds directly from me. he's a happy camper. =) momma beng's a happy camper too. although, compared to day 1, i can now feel some sensations from my waist down, and it's not really the most pleasant feeling. i look preggy, but i feel empty. it's like my insides were all floating around. nakakatakot lumakad kasi parang may madidisplace. hehe!

my pee stinks. when i passed gas, i thought a dead rat is in the bathroom. =P i'm sorry for being gross, but that's the closest description i could give it. i asked mama if it's normal, ganon daw talaga dahil sa anesthesia.

jecobie is getting tested for his blood sugar though. =( nakaka-awa naman, he gets pricked every 4 hours to check his glucose level kasi nga ang laki nyang baby. so far, wala namang nakita sa sugar nya. pero nakaka-awa kasi tinuturok sya sa paa. =(

day 3 at the hospital...

things were starting to feel more real, and things started getting kinda sour. jecobie feeds from me directly, but he cries a lot. i feed him almost constantly, and my nipples started hurting na. jecobie's lips started getting red na rin from all the sucking. we thought jecobie's just suffering from gas, so we try to burp him. akala namin iyakin lang talaga sya, hehe!

that afternoon, the nurse decided to bring jecobie back to the nursery to check on him kasi he's crying constantly na. it turns out, he's dehydrated, running a fever, and his breathing rate is elevated. =( he lost 1 lb and a few ounces already! basically, nagugutom sya! akala ko he's getting milk from me, pero i guess my colostrum is gone after 2 days of feeding, and the milk hasn't kicked in yet. so all those times na i'm "feeding" him, wala pala syang nakukuha sa akin! =(

so the nurse had no choice but give jecobie formula. may mga tests pa silang gagawin, kukunan daw ng dugo. at this point, siguro from exhaustion, from the surgery, from the hormones, from the changes and from the news that i have no milk, that jecobie's feeding on formula, that jecobie will be pricked several times for further tests... nag-breakdown na ko when je came back from the nursery with news about jecobie. =(  naiyak na ko. i feel so sorry for my baby that he's suffering because i couldn't feed him well. i've been having malunggay tea drink, trying to eat healthy, trying to rest... but still no milk. the lactation consultant brought a breast pump, but my nipples were sore and i only have a few drops of milk collected.

i guess that night marked my crossing the threshold of being a mom. i have ideas of having it my way, that i will be strong in my resolve to breastfeed. but when the nurse said jecobie's dehydrated, je and i decided to let go of that idea and resign to sort of "defeat" of formula-feeding. whatever will make our son well, right now. we both agreed that maybe, hopefully, when we get the pressure of breastfeeding out of the way, my body will relax and bring on the milk.

day 4

i was told i could be discharged that day. i didn't even try to nurse pistoy. i don't want to be disappointed.

the nurse has been very helpful in keeping us updated on pistoy's development. since he's had formula, his temp's gradually getting better, his breathing rate is normalizing, and he's not crying as much. he's not dehydrated anymore. whatever works.

that afternoon, we tried to relax. the staff allowed us to stay at the room until 11pm. after that, we went to the nursery and spent half an hour with pistoy. after that, we went home. without jecobie. =(

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

hello jecobie!

those were my first words spoken to my son when i met him for the first time last dec.9, 2010. =)

pre-op
at 10am, i walked into a pre-op/post-op room to wait for my operation. nurse took pee samples, blood samples, and an iv was started na. je's sitting on a chair beside me, and we were chatting as if it's any other day. =) at around 12:30pm, i walked to the operating room after i peed, then sat on a brutally cold operating table. je was instructed to wait to be called.

while sitting there in my unflattering hospital gown, isa-isa nang dumating yung mga tao. the nurses, yung anesthesiologist, yung 2 ob ko. then the nurse asked questions, the anesthesiologist asked questions, and eventually they all fell into a chitchat about my ob's 2 year old daughter. nakikitawa pa ko, then the anesthesiologist poked around my spine.  meron daw akong scoliosis. got me worried a bit, and he probably sensed it, sabi nya kasi ok lang naman, slight lang, and it won't affect the block. so ok.

op
then pina-hunch forward ako ng ob ko. she held my shoulder and i felt a prick sa likod ko. then my legs started feeling warm. unusually warm, then numb. next thing i know, hinihiga na nila ko sa table, someone "carried" my legs for me. propped me on the table, spread my legs, draped something over my lower body as the "shield" was being put up so i won't see what's happening. then i heard someone shaving my area down there, then scrubbing something. then i felt a very weird sensation around my vajayjay. i know the block has already taken effect, coz i know if i wasn't numb, that would hurt (turned out to be the catheter being inserted na pala).then i felt a shivering sensation sa upper body ko. i was trembling so hard na parang umaangat ako sa table ng few inches. i tried to fight it, but the more i try, the worse it seemed to get. then nakita ko sa ulunan ko yung anesthesiologist, so i asked if it's normal. sabi nya oo daw, then got some towels and blankets to cover me.

after a few seconds, i heard mr.co-creator's voice. and he sat by my shoulders. my arms were spread, and he held my left hand. i told him the shivering is normal, kasi parang napapansin na rin nya and i don't want him to worry unnecessarily.

then yun na. over my nurse's and ob's conversations, hinihiwa na pala ako. i felt some tugging and pulling, but no pain. then i heard my ob say something like "ok, ready?" then i felt a heavy weight pushing down my belly. then i felt warm liquid creep up to my shoulders and back. i heard a "ack! ack!" then a cry! it's pistoy!!! =)

i can't remember the series of events after that, i just remembered mr.co-creator leaving my side to see jecobie. i still can't see what's happening. the anesthesiologist was kind enough to draw the "curtain" so i can see while the nurse weighs pistoy. the nurse was holding him by his jaws ata, and pistoy was crying like crazy! "hello jecobie!". that was all i was able to say. =)

it seems like forever until someone finally noticed i was there. hehe! one of the nurses looked over the cover and told me i'm soaking in amniotic fluid. yun pala yung warm liquid kanina, it gushed out.

anyways, so i got stitched up, and i was listening to pistoy's cries. man, this baby's got lungs! =)

post op
after what seemed like forever, mr.co-creator appeared by my shoulder holding pistoy. =) tabachingching nya sobra! then they wheeled me out of the operating room to the recovery room, and pistoy was taken to the nursery for some quick checks ata.

then after around 30 minutes at the pre-op/post-op room, they brought pistoy in, got him naked and placed him on top of me on his tummy. within a minute, his mouth was on my nippled sucking like a pro! the lactation consultant was impressed! haha! he's got a good latch already. he did the suck-swallow-suck-swallow motion. most babies do the suck-suck-suck-swallow daw. good job pistoy!

then after half an hour of kangaroo care, with mr.co-creator with us, kinuha na muna sya, they will run some tests pa rin. i was wheeled to the mother-baby room naman as je went with pistoy. talagang ayaw mawalay ni ignacio sa anak nya! =)

life post-pistoy
when i was transferred to the mother-baby room. i still can't feel anything from the waist down. but there is a certain instinct in me that makes me want to run over to the nursery to see pistoy again. =)

everybody's right. life will never be the same with pistoy around. =) i must've done something right to deserve such a miracle! =)




Jecobie Abiel E. Ignacio

Dec.09, 2010
12:55pm
8 lbs, 14 ounces
20.5 inches

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

our last pre-pistoy day

and so we decided to go for a scheduled c-section. to make the story short, mr.co-creator and i weren't ready to take the risks presented by the doctors. we'll trade the risks of a c-section sa risks ng normal delivery which could lead to an emergency c-section pa rin. i guess you can say we're not the stuff the Las Vegas gamblers are made of. hehe!

today is dec.8. the last day before pistoy makes his grand entrance to the world. our last pre-pistoy day.

so anong ginawa namin? woke up around 9am, had breakfast of left over kfc chicken and biscuits. then je drove the PiMo to the dealership to get the mud guards and cargo mats installed, while i stayed at home. tinuloy ko na yung nilalabhan kong damit the night before, at nilinis ko yung dryer namin. then i took a bath, got dressed and drove with mama and papa to the nearest salon to get a haircut. as i was getting my hair cut, namili ng sapatos sila mama sa kabilang store. after that, we went to applebee's for lunch, where hubby je met us na lang dahil galing syang dealership. then we (i, mama and papa) went to walmart to get some stuff, while je went to the insurance company office to settle some stuff. then we went home, unloaded the walmart stuff we bought. je was at home na rin by then. je and papa sealed the balikbayan box, which we loaded sa van and drove to the filipino store. pina-ship namin yung box and picked up a couple of phone cards for emergency use. then we drove by a goodwill store to drop off our donations (old clothes). then we headed to winn-dixie to do grocery shopping. after that, uwian na.

at home, nagluto si papa ng corned beef, one of my ultimate comfort foods. then we watched a little glee tv. je activated mama's emergency US sim card, while i do my annual self-review at work. (yeah, can you imagine that, day before i give birth, i'm still doing something para sa office?!) then, we listened to pistoy through the doppler thingy kasi ang lakas ng sinok nya. hehe! then, nag-gupit ako ng kuko. haha! how random.

right now, je is eating something while i'm writing this blog post. in a few minutes, kakain na rin ako ng last supper ko before the operation tomorrow. i'm having left over florentine chicken ravioli. yum!

so. as always, life is good, pre-pistoy! and we can't wait for it to get better.

see you in 12 hours pistoy! =)

Sunday, December 5, 2010

birthing plan

my time is winding down, je and i have to sit down and really talk about it before we drive to the doctor tomorrow morning.

thankfully, our parents are just giving their 2 cents, but not pushing us towards one decision. i mean, of course they can be sort of "pushy", or maybe makulit na lang sila kasi matatanda na. hehe! pero not really pushy to the point na they are almost making the decision for us. hehe!

my mama gave birth to me and eibron through CS. naturally, she's recommending an elective CS. lalo na nung nakita nya yung ultrasound ni pistoy na malaki.

my mother-in-law gave birth to 6 sons vaginally. naturally, she's recommending a vaginal delivery because my body is designed for it. sabi nya wait another week, and it will be fine.

i trust my mama with my life. after all, galing ako sa kanya. hehe! and i know hindi nya ko ipapahamak. whatever will be best for me, yun ang best interest nya. i also trust my mother-in-law, living proof sya na kaya ng babaeng manganak normally. they have conflicting ideas, and siguro it's the best scenario kasi it will give us more bases to think about?

i know women's bodies are designed to give birth. and i have no fear of the labor pains (maybe i should, to make all these easier, hehe!). i am mentally prepared for the pain. what i wasn't expecting is hearing about the risks on pistoy and me. throughout the pregnancy, i thought i was generally healthy. besides my thyroids acting up, i passed the gestational diabetes test. my blood pressure normalized when it should've been at its peak. if my doctors can reassure me that if i go for vaginal birth, pistoy will come out unharmed, i will give it a go.

tell me i'm crazy, but i fantasize about how the pushing would be. with je by my side, being called all the names in the book, and hearing that first cry right after i feel that "relief" of feeling pistoy come out. i want to experience it all. i wonder how it feels to have those contractions. parang i haven't felt enough pain in my life if i haven't felt labor pains. je and i were ready for the water-breaking-gotta-drive-to-the-hospital drama. =D

now, i am more open to my birthing experience being just walking into the hospital perfectly fine.

*sigh* ang hirap magdecide. it's good though, that i have family and friends who are supportive either way i go. we receive messages that they will pray for my safe delivery and i sincerely appreciate that. je and i are lucky that we are surrounded by good people who try to watch after us and our best interest.

Thursday, December 2, 2010

c-section

we went to the doctor this afternoon, and we saw pistoy again sa ultrasound! ang laki-laki na nya. based on the measurements, he is estimated at 8 lbs 11 ounces! well, that's actually give or take a lb. but still, at exactly 38 weeks, his measurements are for a 39-week-3-day baby. he is 10 days ahead!

so now we are faced with a decision to make... to go and try for a normal vaginal delivery, or opt for a scheduled c-section?

if we are to try the vaginal delivery, we wait for my contractions, because they only induce when at 40 weeks or later.
if we are to opt for a scheduled c-section, i will be under the knife on Dec.10, when pistoy is at 39 weeks and 1 day.

we were given until tomorrow to decide, but decisions like this shouldn't be taken lightly. so i will ask for more time, as much time as possible and as allowed, from the docs.

we're trying to weigh the pros and cons, and the risks related to either procedure. i mean, i don't want to be in labor for hours, and then in the end hihiwain din pala ako. if there really is no way pistoy is gonna make it safe through vaginal delivery, then in a heartbeat i will say c-section. screw my recovery time, it will be hard and will take longer, but i won't feel less of a woman if i don't push. some people think it's one of the factors to consider, but not for me. whatever is safe for pistoy and me, we go for that.

2 of the 3 docs already talked to us about considering c-section because of his size. pwede naming isapalaran na baka pistoy's weight was over-estimated, but i dunno kung anong mangyayari kung under-estimated pa pala sya ng lagay na to.

i can't sleep. it's close to midnight. we have to decide soon. right now, i am leaning towards a c-section, just to make sure pistoy will be safe.even doc rommel said c-section is safer for mom and baby.

and, my doctor ordering another blood work and another 24-hour urine test to check for protein isn't helping me calm my fears that i might be a candidate for preeclampsia. tumataas na naman daw ang blood pressure ko. given the fact na i don't trust the nurse who took my blood pressure this time, still, wouldn't it be better to err on the side of caution, even for just this one time?

friends, please pray for me, for mr.co-creator, and pistoy.
sana we make the right decision.
and sana walang complications.

lolo't lola in da hauz!

as in literally in the house, cleaning and organizing and doing stuff before pistoy makes his grand entrance.

i'm using this post as a place holder for now, dahil parang andami kong gustong ichika pa. antok na nga lang ako ngayon. but definitely, with a few months to go, i should be able to document pistoy's adventures with lolo and lola. hehehe!

in the meantime, let me enjoy our newly-vacuumed, newly-mopped floors. =D

office baby shower

last tuesday, my teammates threw a surprise baby shower for me! well, it wasn't really a surprise-surprise, dahil i was able to connect "signs"... like my officemate's name appearing on my amazon.com baby registry after she purchased the pack-and-play pen. hehe! but i didn't know who's gonna be there. so imagine my surprise when i walked into the conference room for what was supposedly a "team meeting", and found mr.co-creator standing by the door!!! =)

it was an Incredible Hulk themed party. this is because based on how i look, my teammates all tagged pistoy as the "Baby Hulk". hehe! so there, instant theme idea. hehehe!

andami nilang gifts! the biggest item is the pack-and-play pen. they also got me the bumbo baby seat and tray. pistoy got lots and lots of onesies, socks, mittens, caps and toys! grabe, bakit pati sa mga teammates ko, spoiled itong batang ito?! hehehe!

i will try to post some pics pag nakuha ko na. the other pinoy guy (Jon) was there to take pics, pero nasa bakasyon pa sya ngayon kaya malamang bitbit nya yung baby shower pics kung nasan man sya ngayon. hehe!

btw, je already knew about it a month ago! for the first time, he didn't spoil a surprise. hehe! i've been telling him how i suspected my teammates planning something for me, sya pala ang spy! =P