sorting my priorities

the past 3 weeks, or 4?, sobrang busy sa trabaho. i get in between 7 to 8 am, and leave the office around 6 or 7 pm. ilang beses na rin akong pumasok ng weekends. may project kami na high-priority and sobrang visible sa upper management. aggressive timeline, working with 3rd party clients, and totally different from our business model. it was given to me, i am still totally clueless why, dahil kung aggressive ang deadline, i would imagine na they would give the project to someone more knowledgeable sa kailangang gawin. but no. i had to learn socket programming, xml serializer and de-serializer, printer hardware configurations, and then develop, test, deliver something that they expect to blow the minds of the customers.

i know this is just one project, but i definitely started thinking about my priorities in life. do i really want this kind of lifestyle, running after deadline, leaving for the office while jecobie is still asleep, coming home to spend 1-2 hours with him and then put him to bed for the night? i admit that i feel like i missed jecobie's 10th month altogether. i spent more time away from him, and it wasn't fun. sa sobrang stress, nagkasakit ako. tumaas ang blood pressure ko, (and as of this writing, di pa rin bumababa) and i'm just burning out. there was a point when i got home, i played with pistoy a bit, and when i sat down to chat with hubby je, i just broke down. so tired.

it's a good thing papa norbie is here. he is definitely a life saver. pistoy loves him too! pero kahit na papa ko ang nag-aalaga, nahihiya pa rin ako sa kanya for leaving jecobie with him for almost the entire day.

is this worth it? i know we'd be able to survive on hubby je's salary alone. siguro kailangang bawasan ang luho, but we will thrive.

if things don't get better by next year (after i come back from vacation), i will definitely sit down with my boss and tell him what's on my mind.

pero kahit na hell ang past weeks ko sa office (and it ain't over yet! but things have slowed down an itsy-bitsy bit), coming home is such a joy! the moment jecobie sees me, his face lights up! =) he breaks into a smile, and pag naglalaro sya, iiwan nya talaga ang toys nya para magpakarga sa akin. =) no matter how stressed i am, pistoy never fails to make me smile. salamat sa Diyos nandito ang anak ko, kundi nabaliw na siguro ako sa sobrang stress. it's true na kahit pagod ka na, pag nakita mo ang anak mo, you get the bonus life line and instant spinach to get you going.

jecobie is the best thing that happened in my life. this will be the last time i am letting work get in the way of play time. =)